Loss and Grieving
"I have felt with increasing ease, that now familiar feelings of loss and sorrow, and yet that comfort, acceptance, at home with death. I have lost my terror and denial of death. I can live with its reality",
Betty Friedan, Author of The Fountain of Age

Use family occasions in a positive way, by talking to those you care for about the end of life. Gather information about advance directives, living wills and health care proxies. Find books or other popular media to share with those you love in order to begin a dialogue about difficult issues. Use the following suggestions to help an older person through a difficult dying experience.

• Urge your loved one to rediscover their own needs, hobbies and dreams by planning a trip, taking a class or joining a club.


• Encourage discussions about good and bad dying experiences
  Understanding specific fears and the resources that exist to improve the dying experience might lesson anxiety.


• Encourage the sharing of rich memories and stories
  Ask the older person that you care about to write stories down, assist them in making an audio or videotape or spend time talking to them, family members and friends.


• Find an opportunity to discuss end-of-life wishes or preferences with older family members and suggest they appoint health care proxies.


• Rely upon cultural/religious beliefs that relate to illness and death
  Be supportive of your loved one's wishes about traditional practices such as Last Rites as well as beliefs about specific medical treatment.


• Provide or find assistance in filling out any financial or difficult paperwork.


• Ask a clergy person to address care at the end of life from a spiritual perspective. Disuss the opportunities, rituals, and support that are available within specific faiths


• Ask health care providers for referrals to end-of-life related patient/family support services and resources


• Recognize that elderly people lose friends and loved ones more frequently than most people. Watch for signs of depression and provide them with the professional help, companionship and support they need.

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